OF COURSE, since we are using a complete address
for the Prime Minister, the sender's address should be comlete as well.
THE DATE can be written without the word 'date' appearing. In fact,
it would be much better to place the date of the letter up at the top, above
the address, and placed either in the center, far right or far left.
In actual correcpondence to the Prime Minister, rather than using "you"
when addressing him, you should use "Your Excellency," the proper
HONORIFIC.
In line four of the first main paragraph, the pronoun 'it' is used, but
shoudl be change back to a noun, such as 'the situation' or 'these horrible
accidents,' etc. A hint about this is to check the main subject of the sentence,
"These numbers..." and ask if it 'fits' with using the word 'it.' See?
Note any other words crossed out that are not necessary.
TO: Mr. Thaksin Shinawatra
FROM: Siriporn Sisounthone
DATE: March 25th 2004
RE: Drunk driving during holiday seasons
Dear Mr. Shinawatra,
My name is Sirirporn Sisounthone and I am a resident of Korat. I am
writing to you in regards to the number of deaths which occur on our highways
each year as the result of drunk driving. Two years ago, my son was
killed when a drunk driver ran a red light and hit my son as he was walking
across the street. This past New Year’s holiday, 500 people were killed
and another 25,000 injured in alcohol related accicents. These numbers
are staggering and if we don’t don’t something about it now, we will face
more meaningless deaths during the Song Kran festival as well as other Thai
holidays. How can we curtail this problem? What can we do about
it? When will the killing stop?
First, I think we need more police officers enforcing traffic laws out on
the streets, especially during the holiday seasons. Too many police
officers don’t enforce the law because they make added income by taking “bribes”
from motorists. We need to have police set up road blocks at key intersections
so that they can stop and check for suspected drunk drivers. Suspicious
motorists would then be given a breathlizer test that would measure the amount
of alcohol in their blood. If they are over the legal limit (I suggest
.08%)then the motorist would be arrested on the spot. This alone could
prevent an inebrieted individual from causing an accident.
Second, I believe that if we could pass stiffer penalities for offenders,
it would also deter people from driving while intoxicated. Perhaps
a 30 day jail term, a 40,000 baht fine, license suspension for 1 year, and
drug rehabilitation school, for first time offenders would make people think
twice before they get behind their wheel of their car after having too many
drinks. Second and third time offenders would be subject to heavier
fines and longer jail terms. Statistics have shown that stiffer penalties
do help in reducing crime overall and I believe it will make people have
second thoughts about getting behind the wheel of a car after they’ve consumed
too much alcohol.
Finally, I think if the city had a free taxi service for people who are unable
to drive because they’ve had too much to drink, could also reduce the number
of drunk drivers on our roads. This could be a service that restaraunts
and entertainment venues suscribe to and pay a yearly fee. If a patron
is unable to drive home, the free taxi service could be called and the intoxicated
driver would then be given a free ride home. Not only would this reduce
the number of drunk drivers on the streets, but it could also protect businesses
from law suits arising from accidents after a customer has left their establishement
intoxicated.
Drinking and driving kills and if we don’t do something about it now, there
will be more meaningless deaths and people maimed and injured in the future.
I hope you will carefully consider my ideas and thoughts. Let’s work
together to help save lives for the future. The killing must stop now!
Sincerely,
Siriporn Sisounthone